Roads
by triggersaurus
Summary: This is a fic I wrote almost a year ago now with Ryan, and for some reason I've never put it up here before...
1. Default Chapter

Roads Roads 

The rain slapped against the windshield hard, forced to by the winds that blew off the lake, as Doug drove down the Interstate. He looked out over the lake for as long as he could without steering into a barrier, remembering times by the lake both when he was new to the city and when he was an old-timer. A fresh burst of rain smacking the front of his car brought him out of it, his eyes snapping back to the road which was full of slow moving traffic. He leaned over and turned the radio on, tuning it into the local station, and nearly missed his exit. 

He spoke aloud as he cut his speed and indicated, trying to cut across the two other lanes and quickly became the brunt of many car horns. He pulled off the interstate and out of the system, finally drawing into the city he called his hometown, even if he grew up in Kentucky. Realising that he had no accommodation for the night, he opened the glove compartment and pulled out an old, crumbling A to Z, flicking through the pages whilst keeping one eye on the road. Finally, grappling with the rush hour traffic and an atlas on his lap became too hard, and he pulled over into a lay-by, finding the page he wanted.

Huh. Hope it's still there. He grunted as he manoeuvred back out into the traffic, heading towards a small motel he remembered from the days before he found an affordable apartment. Mentally, he cursed giving up his apartment when he skipped Chicago. Here he was, eleven months later, back in the city with nowhere to live when he knew full well that his old apartment was sitting empty for the next two weeks, waiting for its new tenants. Squinting out of his window, he drove into a car park and slowed by the entrance of the building.

Jolene's Five Star Motel. This'll do.

He threw the A to Z back onto the passenger seat and pulled into a parking bay, switching off the ignition. He went to the trunk and got out a small sports bag, put it over one shoulder and went into the motel, taking a glance back over his shoulder at the rain coming down onto Chicago, making his clothes and hair wet, but all the same making him feel very much at home.

After Doug got a room he changed into dry clothes he picked up the phone and started to dial an all too familiar number, but before he finished he hung up

"I can't call Carol yet, and besides she's probably at work." Doug thought.

He laid on the bed and watched TV for about 30 minutes then he decided to call and see if Mark was on now. He dialled the number, after a few rings Randi answered.

"ER, how can I help you?"

"Is Mark Greene on right now?"

"Who's calling?"

"Doug Ross."

Randi looked around for Mark

"Dr. Greene, telephone."

"Who is it?"

"Doug Ross."

"Yeah, real funny Randi. Who is it really."

"I told you, it's Doug Ross."

He threw her an odd, slightly confused look, and she handed him the phone

"Hello?"

"Mark, it's Doug."

"Doug, where are you?"

"Jolene's Five Star Motel in Chicago."

Mark swiveled round, looked around the ER, then whispered back into the phone You're HERE?

"Yeah, don't tell anyone, and make sure Randi doesn't tell anyone, especially Carol. What time are you off?"

"7:00, look Doug, I don't know what you're playing at exactly, but I'll stop by the motel when I get off."

"Ok, well I'll talk to you then."

"Bye."

Carol came out of Trauma 1, she heard part of Mark's conversation with Doug.

"Motel?! Mark, is there someone you want to tell me about?!"

"No, nothing like that. Just an old friend stopped by there."

"Old friend. Right." Carol wandered off, still looking at Mark, grinning over her shoulder.

Mark walked away, shaking his head.

Doug was sitting on the bed when he heard a knock at the door. He answered it and wasn't surprised to see Mark.

"Hi Doug"

"Hi Mark, c'mon in. Good to see you!

"You too Doug. But what are you doing here? Something happened in Seattle?"

"Nothing happened in Seattle, that was the problem! But, I don't wanna talk about that right now. In all honesty, Mark, I don't really know what I'm doing back here."

"Oh. How long are you staying? Is this just a trip, or what?"

"I don't know. Maybe forever. Maybe a few days"

"Well your not staying here, you're staying with me."

"Mark..."

"Doug, don't argue, just hurry up and pack your stuff. You've put me up plenty of times before.

Doug knew Mark wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, so he packed his things, and they went to Mark's apartment.

"So, uh, how's Carol?"

"She's good Doug."

Doug nodded, concentrating on unpacking his bag. 

She misses you.

Uh huh.

There was silence in the apartment. Doug finished unpacking, and grabbed his keys from the table.

Don't wanna seem rude Mark, but I'm just going to go for a drive.

I'll be back

Doug took his car keys and left. He drove around the all too familiar streets of Chicago, past the ER, past Doc Magoo's, and finally, pulling up outside Carol's house and parking across the street. He wasn't sure if he should go in or not, so he sat and stared at the porch.

"Who am I kidding, she doesn't want me here." Doug said out loud, turned the ignition and drove away.

As Doug arrived back at Mark's, he got to the doorway of the apartment and met a pizza delivery guy about to ring the bell.

Hey, here, I'll pay for that.

He got out his wallet and handed the boy some bills, and takes the pizza. He knocked on the door and Mark let him in.

Wow. I knew things were bad Doug, but you didn't have to go and get a job delivering pizza!

Doug grinned and put it down on the table, taking off his coat. They settle down on the couch, with the TV tuned in to a basketball match.

Mark said, mouth full, You going to tell me why you're back here?

I couldn't get a job in Seattle. Doug didn't flinch and stared straight at the screen, picking a mushroom off the top of his pizza.

Mark's mouth dropped open temporarily, but he closed it, and took another bite of his slice.

You couldn't get a job?

Well, you know, murder doesn't look too good on my resume. This time, Doug looked at him, grinning as he cracked the joke. Mark didn't laugh, but pulled a forced smile and shrugged his shoulders.

Doug's grin faded, and he turned back to the match. Silence descended once again. After some time, Mark cleared his throat.

Look Doug, I know you don't want me interfering, but Carol

Carol doesn't want anything to do with me, Mark, she didn't want me back here, not for her, not for her children.

Mark was quiet again, but then said, very softly, They're your kids too, Doug.

Yeah, well, doesn't seem she wants it that way. So I think it's best for all concerned if I keep out of the way. Maybe it was a bad idea, coming back.

If it means anything, we've all kinda missed you

Doug looked up at him, and smiled. Yeah, right. You miss having someone to beat up on!

Mark grinned back.

"Yeah, and I can still beat up on you!"

Doug stood up and pulled Mark up off the couch.

"You think so?"

Mark tackled Doug and they wrestled around on the ground for about ten minutes, laughing and yelling. Sometime later, after they've recovered, Doug sat back on the couch, and Mark on the floor, picking up pieces of pizza that were scattered during the fighting.

"So Mark, how's things with you? How's Rachel?

She's good. Settled into life in St Louis okay.

That's great.

What's changed at County, since I left?"

"Well, Romano's chief of staff."

"And let me guess, Weaver's ER Chief?"

"Yep, how'd you know?"

"Unlucky guess."

"And we've got tons of new doctors."

"I'm going to drop in tomorrow."

"Doug...You're not coming to the hospital."

"Yes I am Mark. It's up to you, either I go with you, or I take my car. It really doesn't matter to me."

"I'll make you a deal. Carol's on tomorrow. If you come with me you gotta promise me that you'll talk to her.

Doug shrugged, looking down at his feet. Sure, whatever. It's not me that doesn't want to talk.

Mark and Doug talked for a few more hours, watched another basketball match, then went to bed, both feeling a mix of joy and trepidation for the day to come.

An alarm buzzed.

"Doug are you coming with me to the hospital?"

"Uhhh. Yeah."

"Okay, you're going to have to get a move on then!"

Doug and Mark got dressed and left the house at 6:15. Mark had to be at work at 7:00.

"You wanna stop, get coffee or something? We have time."

"Sure."

They drove in the direction of a coffee house, trying to avoid traffic, but ended up in it anyway.

"What's all this about so early in the morning? Don't remember it being THIS bad!"

"That's because it isn't normally. I don't know what's going on."

As they pulled closer to the front of the line they were stuck in, they saw a crowd up ahead.

"What's going on here?" Doug asked

"I dunno. I can't see much. Looks like...uh oh. Oh no."

"Uh oh? Uh oh's not good. What is it?"

"Looks like someone on the floor"

Before Doug could react, Mark swerved and swung the car over to the side of the road, pulled up the handbrake and turned to Doug. But Doug was halfway out of the door, slamming it behind him as he jogged to the crowd. Mark followed. As they pushed through the crowd, explaining their qualifications, they saw a kid, about 8 years old, with blood all over his face, bruises on his body.

"Anyone know what the hell happened here?" Doug yelled

"I don't know, he stumbled out into the road and passed out. No cars hit him though., someone in the crowd answered.

"Someone go call 911 NOW!!!"

Doug and Mark took turns doing CPR 'til the ambulance arrived.

"Where did you learn CPR?" the paramedic asked.

"We're doctors"

"Doctors? What hospital?"

"County General" Mark answers, as Doug was preoccupied with breathing for the boy.

"Ok, come on then. What's your names?"

"I'm Dr. Greene, that's Dr. Ross, we need a backboard, c-spine immobiliser, and we need to tube and bag him."

The paramedics put the kid in the back of the ambulance, Doug and Mark climbed in as well, continuing to help treat him, and it drove away

"What about your car?" Doug asked.

"We'll come back and get it later."

The EMT driving picked up the intercom

"County General, come in County."

"County, over." Carol answered, out of breath, and laughing could be heard in the background

"We got a Dr. Greene and a Dr. Ross here, they found a kid in the street, he's beat up bad."

There was a momentary silence.

"DOUG Ross?"

Doug nodded at the paramedic, who was looking at him.

"Yeah, why?"

"Ok, we're ready for you. Bring them in."

"Ok, who knew Doug Ross was back in Chicago?" Carol shouted over all the noise of the ER.

"Me, and Mark Greene." Randi said.

"How."

"He called last night, he asked for Mark."

"Call me when they get here." Carol said as she headed off to the trauma room, grabbing a stack of dressings angrily. About 5 minutes later the ambulance entrance doors slammed open as a gurney hit them, closely followed by Doug and Mark. Kerry Weaver rushed up.

"What have we got?"

"Kid found in the road, not MVA, staggered into the road and collapsed, pulse thready, resps 16, had to do CPR on the scene. He responded well but still a potential for brain damage, we don't know how long he was out for."

"Bp's 70 over 40, GCS 5."

They crashed through into Trauma 1, and Doug grabbed an IV line to start a drip. Before he could insert it, he was pushed lightly in the chest, and Mark leant over the gurney.

"Get outta here Doug, you know you can't do this. And don't argue with me, you're not in a position to be defensive."

Doug stared him out, but stepped away from the bed, hands raised in defeat. He looked down at the body on the bed, then went out of the room, and stood by the doors, gazing through the windows at the ER team working on the child.

"Hey Doug. Coming through."

Doug jumped at the voice and spun around to come face to face with Carol, pushing a trolley laden with equipment. He stepped out of her way, absent-mindedly, and went to reply to her. But before he could get anything out, she swept past him with a cart, into the trauma room.

Ten minutes later, Mark came out of the trauma room, snapping off his gloves. He went to the admit desk, after taking a glance around him, and stopped by Randi.

Randi, have you seen Doug?

He was here a few moments ago, just gone into the lounge.

He went to the lounge and stopped when he saw Doug putting his coat on.

Hey Mark, I'm going back to the apartment, I decided it was a bad idea coming back. How did the kid do, by the way?

Uh, he's okay. You're going back?

Yeah, I think I'll just pack up and move on, go see New York maybe, or Florida even, I could live with a bit of sun!

He grinned, straightening his collar. Mark didn't return the grin, and grabbed him by the coat sleeve and sat him down in an armchair, then took the seat opposite.

We had a deal Doug, and you'd better keep to it. Now either you go and talk to Carol, or

He stopped as the door clicked open loudly and Carol came in, pulling off her scrub jacket.

She saw them as the door closes behind her, and she froze. Doug's eyes widened a little, but Mark, clearing his throat loudly, broke the tension.

I'm just gonna let you two have a little time to yourselves, I'll make sure no one comes in.

He got up, heading to the door, but turned once he was behind Carol and gave Doug a look that warned him not to try anything. He opened the door and left. The silence hung heavily in the small room, and Carol un-froze, continuing to pull off her jacket. Doug watched her, uncertain of her reactions and what they meant, and uncertain of his own actions, what they should be. She went to her locker, still not a sound between them, and Doug hung his head, a bit more convinced that Carol couldn't care about his existence anymore. But just as he was preparing to stand up and leave, he was alerted to a small noise from the lockers. He looked up to where Carol stood, now facing him, and with her eyes full, only one spilling over. He got up, now sure that his time was up, but Carol met his eyes and stopped him.

she blurted out, her eyes watering some more, Doug, howwhy didn't you call? I've it was her turn to look at the floor now, and she sniffed and looked back at him again, I've missed you so much. Finally both cheeks were covered in tears as she stood in isolation by her locker. Doug, standing a distance away, was thrown, and held one hand out, unsure of the place they were in now, and Carol took it, moving to him, grabbing him and holding on tighter than she ever had before. Doug's eyes read his surprise, but he put his arms around her after he recovered the initial shock, and he closed his eyes as he tried to absorb what this will mean for both of them.

Later that day, Mark and Doug were talking at his apartment.

"What kind of job are you planning on getting Doug?" 

"Ideally or realistically?! I'd love to stay in emergency medicine, peds emergency medicine if I can." 

"At County?" 

"Wherever they'll have me. The odds of going back to County are kinda slim, don't ya think?!" 

"Yeah. Guess it's gonna be quite hard where ever you try. Ever thought about a private practice?" 

"Yeah, I had a few interviews in Seattle, but I miss the adrenaline. It's just not the same, y'know?" 

"Doug...I'm going to be honestthere is no way...not after Ricky Abbott."

Doug looked at him blankly. "Thanks for your support."

No, I'm not trying to rub your face in it, listen. Douglisten to me

Doug grabbed his car keys from the table, and disappeared into the spare room to get his coat, but Mark grabbed him by the arms as he came out again, and pushed him back. Doug whirled his arms out, knocking Mark's hands off him.

Get off me.

No Doug, sit down. How are you going to solve anything by running away? Doug. DOUG!

Doug was headed for the door and out of it in seconds, making to slam it behind him as he walked off down the hallway. But Mark caught the door before it slammed and followed him out into the hall, stopping outside his door to call after him.

Doug, if you do this, you're no better than Ray.

Doug stopped, still facing away from Mark as the comment hit him.

You always said how Ray ran away from his problems and everyone else's, yours included. Now you're doing the same thing, ditching Carol and your children like he ditched your mom and you. Mark was red in the face with anger.

Doug stood, facing away from him, stock-still in the middle of the hallway. He absorbed Mark's words. He turned around slowly, to see Mark standing by his doorway, hands at his sides, still red.

That hurt. That really hurt, Mark.

He turned around and walked off, car keys jangling. Mark broke his own anger and swallowed, looking at the floor, then sighed and went into his apartment, shutting the door behind him.

In his car, Doug sat, head against the wheel in the dark. He sat up suddenly and put the keys in the ignition, and swerved out of the car park. He drove across Chicago, passing the hospital and pulled up five minutes later outside Carol's house. He got out and went up the steps, and rang the doorbell. As soon as he did he heard wailing from the upstairs window and cursed for not thinking of the time. The door opened and Carol's face peered out, looking tired and washed out.

Hey Carol. I'm just dropping byI, uhI just came

Carol smiled, still tired, and held the door open wider. You wanna see the kids? Well, since you just woke them up He stepped in.

A certain tension can still be felt between them, and Doug looked more uncomfortable than Carol did. She sensed it, and gave him another weary smile.

"I know we've got a lot to talk about, but can we just leave it until the morning?"

"Uh, yeah, sure."

The air now a bit clearer, Carol tipped her head towards the staircase.

"C'mon then."

Doug followed Carol up the stairs.

"Uh, was it, I mean, did it go okay? The birth and everything?"

"Kerry delivered them. And you owe Mark our future kids."

"Weaver? That scares me." As Carol pushed open a bedroom door, Doug looked down, and mumbles, "Carol, I know you don't want to talk about it now, but I just, I'm really sorry I wasn't there."

She turned back to look at him, not saying anything, but nodded, and went into the room, over to a crib. Doug remained on the threshold of the room, uncertainty showing in his face as he watched Carol lift a small, but very loud, baby in the air. She turned back to him, trying to shush the baby.

"You wanna hold her? This is Kate, the loud one."

Doug smiled lopsidedly. "I can tell! Can I?"

She handed over the screaming infant, and Doug cradled her gently, swallowing as the baby stopped crying, staring in fascination at the eyes looking down on her.

"I guess she knows who you are."

He looked up at Carol, smiling, and looked back down at his daughter again, completely swept away by it all. He only snapped out of it when Carol came over to him with another baby, this one quiet but clawing at the mittens that covered her hands.

"Carol.... they're beautiful."

"I know."

They stood in the room, watching the twins as they fall asleep in their arms. Carol leant forward after many minutes of silence, and whispered to Doug,

"How was Seattle?!"

His eyes flicked up to meet hers, and they registered guilt.

"I need to be here now, Carol."

"Are you staying?" She whispered this with fear of the answer, quieter than before, refusing to look at Doug.

"What? And leave this?" he said, motioning towards the twins. "I don't think I could."

They laid the twins back down in their cribs, and he and Carol headed downstairs. Carol motioned to the couch, and Doug sat with her as she cleared some of the baby stuff from it.

"Stop." Doug said, and she looked at him, only to find him grinning at her as she frantically collects stuffed toys and baby wipes. He beckoned to her, and she leant back, resting on him. As she leant back to kiss him, she whispered,

"I'm so glad you're home."

Doug smiled, kissed her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as she leant against him, her eyes closing.

"Carol? Carol?" Doug whispered, some moments later.

When he realised she was asleep he decided he shouldn't wake her, and reached for a pillow, tipping his head against it and letting his eyes shut.

[][1][][2][][1]

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/er_trig/triggersfics.html
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Cinema/3911/index.html



	2. Roads: Speed Bumps

Roads:

**Roads: Speed Bumps**

Mark stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes in the morning light, and grabbing for his glasses. He rummaged around in a cupboard, reaching to the back and pulling out a cereal box, then getting a bowl from the sink and some milk from the fridge. He poured his breakfast out, and, taking a spoonful as he went, walked into the lounge. As he went to clear a space on the couch to sit down, he picked up a pizza box and stopped. He stood staring at it for a moment, before swallowing rapidly and putting down his cereal on the nearest surface. He looked around frantically, then rushed down the hallway and stuck his head around the door of the guest room, which was hanging open.

Doug? Doug, you there?

The room echoed back, and Mark turned around and went back to the lounge, going to the phone. Unfortunately, the phone, being cordless, was not where he thought it was, and Mark spent several minutes digging down the sides of chairs and looking under journals, until it rang from the kitchen. He ran in there.

Jenn can I talk to you later? I'm kinda

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, I just have toI'm dealing with a situation here, and I need to use the phone.

Oh. Okay, I'll speak to you later. But I'm not going to be in this evening, so if you can call sometime during the day..

Sure, fine. Speak later. He hung up, then pressed speed dial and put the phone to his ear. It rang several times before a sleepy voice answered.

Mark? Oh, hi, sorry, I was

Were you asleep? I am so sorry. But I have to tell you something, it's about Doug

Doug? Well, he's here if you want to talk to him?

? He's with you?

I'll just put him on

No, wait a secCarol? Carol

"Hi Douganything happen last night I should know about?"

"Mark...."

"Relax Doug, it was a joke."

"Not funny."

"So...ahem...you still gonna talk to Romano today?"

"Yep."

"Does Carol know?"

"Not yet."

"What? She doesn't know? You have to tell her."

"Relax Mark, I'm going to – you don't need to tell me what to do ALL the time...I'll see you there."

"Ok, bye."

"Carol....I'm going to County today, and I'm gonna talk to Romano about getting my job back."

Carol started laughing.

"Something funny?"

"Oh my god you're serious."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Doug...."

"I don't believe this, you're gonna be just like Mark about it, I came here because I thought you would understand."

"Doug, calm down, I do understand, I understand that you want your old job back, but Doug...is it really realistic to think that Romano will hire you back?"

"See, you and Mark seem to be forgetting one thing, I wasn't fired, I quit...remember?"

"Oh, I remember."

"So, are you coming with me or not?"

"Yes, of course...oh, but, the twins."

What about them?

I have today off – I only work four days a week at the moment, got my contract reduced to five shifts so I can spend more time with the girls. So unless I can find a sitter, I can't really come with you.

Just bring them.

What? To the hospital? With all those germs?

Relax. Kids meet enough germs from you alone everyday. The likelihood of them catching anything while they're there is tiny. I'm a paediatrician, remember?!

Yeah...well, how long are we going to be? I'm still not staying there for more than an hour.

Well, I'll be as quick as I can.

Some time later they arrived at County. After battling their way through all the patients, they made it up to Romano's office on the top floor. Carol had a huge baby bag on one shoulder, and carried one twin on the other, and Doug has the other baby draped across his right shoulder. He still seemed a little daunted by the presence of the babies, knowing that they are his own. Just as Doug was about to knock on the office door, they heard a voice behind them.

Ah, excuse me? Are you here to see Dr. Romano?

Uh, yeah. Just a quick talk is all.

Well, he's not there. He's in the ER today, monitoring something or other, I can't remember what. But if you want to see him, I suggest you try and catch him down there. 

Oh, thanks.

They went back to the elevators, Doug relieving Carol of the bag as she tried to switch it to the other shoulder and juggle a baby.

When they reached the ER, Romano could not be seen anywhere. But none of the staff failed to see Doug, or the twins. Immediately a crowd of nurses surrounded them, with passing doctors and patients also peering in to see what the fuss was about. The crowd cleared to reveal Haleh holding one baby, cooing at it, and Carter holding the other one up in the air, while Malik shook hands with Doug, offering him a game of basketball. However, after this initial reaction, it wasn't long before everyone got called away to various traumas and sutures, leaving Doug and Carol holding their children once again. Carol wrinkled her nose and hands Doug Kate at a distance.

Ugh, here, go change her.

She needs a new diaper. I'll wait at the desk with Tess, you go change her in a spare room or something.

Doug's eyes widened, and then fell into a grimace as he took Kate. He looked at her. 

You see that? You see what your mother is making me do on my very first day knowing you? Huh? He wandered off, still talking to her, into exam one, where he saw an empty gurney. Carol watched him go, with a smirk on her face.

Doug laid Kate down on the gurney but just before he started changing her, he heard a kid screaming from the next room.

What the...

He picked Kate up and went over to the next room and saw a female doctor standing by the bed of a patient, about five years old, and the kid's mother looking worriedly at the doctor.

Do you have to? I mean, he really hates needles

Sorry, but yes I do have to.

Are you sure? He's so scared, look at him

He's just going to have to deal with it for a moment. It won't take long.

She filled a syringe, facing her patient, who screamed even louder and tried to escape, attempting to jump off the bed. But the doctor grabbed him and twisted him round, holding him tight and still. Just as she touched the kid's back with the needle, and the kid took a deep breath to scream again, Doug came in. He looked mad, but was obviously trying to contain it.

Hi...umm...what on earth are you doing to this kid to make him scream so much?

Lumbar Puncture.

Ugh...an LP. Those are no fun.

Nope...Who are you?

Dr. Doug Ross, I used to work here. Peds attending.

Oh, I'm Cleo Finch, nice to meet you.

Same here, symptoms?

The patient, what are his symptoms

Sore throat, some nausea, fever, and this rash.

What?! And you're doing an LP on him?

I'm ruling everything out, make sure I didn't miss anything. I suspect it may be meningitis.

The mother stood up, horrified.

Cleo looked her way blankly, and then turned back to Doug, who is staring back at her aghast.

So, you are doing an unnecessary painful procedure just to cover your ass? He whispered dangerously. She didn't respond, continuing to start straight at him. Doug broke the glare and looked to the patient and his mother.

Ma'am, don't worry, I'm sure it isn't meningitis. Dr. Finch here is just doing this to be on the safe side. He turned away to leave the room, and glowered at Cleo again, before marching out. He went back to Carol, still at the desk.

Carol, change her for me? I have to sort something out.

Doug, don't think you can get out of diaper changing that easy!

No, this is serious. Please, I'll change them both later. I need to find Carter or someone, you know where he is?

Carol's eyes widened a little.

Uh, no, I don't. Cleo is in exam one, if you need someone.

She's the problem.

Carter walked up.

Did I hear someone say they need a doctor?

Yea, that med student in exam one is doing an LP on a five year old with symptoms of nothing more than the 

"Med student?"

"Yeah, said her name was Finch."

"She isn't a med student, she's our new pedes doctor."

"Who hired her?"

Carter looked around, Carol interrupted.

"What are the symptoms Doug?"

"Sore throat, some nausea, fever, and a rash. C'mon, Carter."

Doug headed for the exam room with Carter on his heels. Doug crashed the door open into the room to see, and hear, that Cleo was about half way into the tap. The kid was screaming louder than ever, and his mother and Chuni were having problems keeping him still. Doug stopped, with Carter behind him, and Carol in the doorway. He looked at Cleo, who was reaching for a tube to collect the spinal fluid, and his anger boiled over. He turned to Carter.

"You gonna make her stop, Carter?"

"Umm."

"Look what she's doing. A kid with the flu. It's not fair on him, or his mother, or the insurance company! You have to stop her!"

"I really don't think I can, Doug."

"What?!"

"She's already started Doug, let her finish."

There was a pause as Doug stared at Carter.

"Fine, if you won't I will."

"What?"

Doug turned around and marched over to Cleo. He took the fluid tube from her and shoved her out of the way. He leant close to the needle in the patient's back and removed it slowly, talking to the kid as he did it. The kid's screaming quietened a little as Doug talked to him, but as he does so, Carol shouted from the doorway,

"What the hell are you doing Doug?"

He looked up at her, removing the drapes.

"It had to be done."

Carter whispered to Cleo, who looked mildly shell shocked, but fuming with rage as well.

"Dr. Finch, go get Dr. Greene...NOW!

Cleo gave Doug a long, hard stare and left, returning shortly with Mark.

"What's going on Carter?"

"Doug removed a partially done LP from this patient."

"What?"

"Look Mark, the kid has the flu, and Dr. Finch here decided to give him an LP. He"

"It doesn't matter Doug, it was her patient and you had no right to interfere. Now...you get Carol, and you go home."

"I've got to talk to Romano."

"Not anymore you don't. I can't believe you think you can waltz back in here and go ahead and do exactly the sort of thing that lost you your job last time. Get out.

Doug looked at him, ripped off his gloves, and marched out.

He caught up with Carol in the staff lounge, bumping into her by the doorway. She had her coat on, and was carrying both babies and the bag.

Whoa, Carol, where are you going?

Home? Wait a moment

No, Doug, I won't wait. I waited before, and I supported you before on an issue like this, and a fat lot of good it was then. You disappear off to the other side of the country, then return a year later, tail between your legs because nowhere else will take you. For some reason, you convinced yourself you could get your job back, and you convinced me that there might have been a chance too. And for a moment there, I believed you. And I was so happy, I thought you actually cared. But now you've just blown any chance you might have had of getting your job back and I am sick of standing by while you deliberately go against the book. You haven't just ruined my life this time, you've ruined their lives too. Don't you ever think about anyone else? She nodded at the twins and slams out of the room and the ER.

Doug was left standing in the lounge, alone, holding his coat.

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   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/er_trig/triggersfics.html



	3. Roads: The End Of The Road

Roads:

**Roads: The End Of The Road**

Sometime later that evening, a key turned in a lock. A coat landed on a bed and a TV was switched on, flicked relentlessly and then switched off again. A mini-bar was raided, although it had little to offer, a shower was used, used a bit too much - a yelp filled the room as the hot water ran out.and time ticked onward.

The double bed creaked as Doug sat down, with a towel round his neck. For some time he stared straight ahead, absent-mindedly rubbing his wet hair from time to time, until it stuck up in all directions. As he dropped the towel to the floor, he snapped out of his trance and got up, going to the small table by the door and picking up a directory of business telephone numbers in the central Chicago district. Heading back to the bed with this, he slipped past a mirror, returning a few seconds later after he passed it, patting at his head to try and organise the strange shapes and spikes that his hair had arranged itself into. He sat on the bed, having found that his hair wouldn't be changing that night no matter how much he tried to persuade it, and opened the directory slowly, flicking through some pages and finally coming to rest under Medical services.

Across the other side of Chicago, an alarm clock was set and curtains were pulled. A light flicked off, a bed creaked, and a loud sigh of relief echoed through the room. A blanket was pulled up closer, a pillow plumped, and even after all that, the ceiling was stared at for some time...

Just as Carol began to feel her eyes closing, a cry emanated from the next room, and as hard as she tried to ignore it and as hard as she prayed for it to stop, it didn't and she heaved herself out of bed, taking a glance at the alarm clock – 1.32am. She shuffled out into the hall and across to the small room serving as a nursery, lifted the wailing twin from her crib and shuffled back out to the hall and down the stairs, going as fast as was possible for 1.30 in the morning, so that Kate would not wake as well. She went into the kitchen and got a pre-prepared bottle from the fridge, then went back out into the lounge, sitting down on the couch with Tess, placing the bottle in her mouth, not so much as to feed her but to stop the noise. Carol yawned.

"Give me the bullet." Carter yelled as the paramedics brought in a boy of about 10 years old.

"Matthew Barnes 9 years old, fell on a tile floor when his crutch landed on some water, unconscious for about 3 minutes."

"Crutches?"

"Yeah, he's got CP."

"Ok, where are his parents?"

"Couldn't find them, neighbor called 911. It kind of looked like the parents had been gone for at least a couple of days."

Carter looked down at Matthew.

"Hi Matt, I'm Dr. Carter, we're gonna fix you up, ok?"

"Ok."

"Carter do you want me to page Cleo?"

"No thanks, I can handle this."

"This kid has enough problems." Carter said under his breath.

"Where do you want him Dr. Carter?" The paramedic asked.

"Exam 2."

They head for Exam 2.

Doug stood by the window, looking at the busy road below, fingering a scrap of paper. After some while, he went to the bed and pulled the phone over, stretching its cord as far as possible. He looked down at the paper and plugged in the first number.

Hello, The Maycroft Practice, how can I help you?

The receptionist had answered quickly, and thrown Doug off balance.

Err, hi, um, I was, I'm looking for a job in

I'm sorry, we have no vacancies at the moment. But I can take your name and telephone number if you would like us to call when something comes up? What area of work were you interested in?

Uh, actually I'm a paediatrician.

Oh. Well, okay. It would be best if you sent us your resume then, and we'll contact you from there, Dr

Ross. Doug Ross.

Do you have our address?

Yeah, it's right here in the directory

Okay, well, hope to receive it soon. Have a nice day!

He pressed down the receiver and sighed, ticked off the first number and started dialling the next. 

"Tough case Carter?" Kerry asked

"Yeah, Matthew Barnes, slipped on water, unconscious for around 3 minutes. Oh, and he has CP."

"That doesn't sound so tough."

"Well, normally it wouldn't be but the parents are nowhere to be found."

"You think they abandoned him?"

"I'm not sure, I was just going to talk to Matt about it."

"Ok, well let me know how it turns out."

Carter walks off towards exam 2.

"Matt, ummm.....How are you feeling?"

"OK, I guess. I've got a headache."

"I know.....In a few minutes I'm gonna take you to see a friend of mine, he's gonna take some pictures of your head to make sure there's nothing wrong. Can I ask you some questions?"

"Okay."

"Do you know where your parents are?"

"They said they were going shopping and would be back in a while."

"Okay, and do they always leave you home alone?"

"No, this is the first time, and my neighbor was right next door, he came to check on me every 10 minutes."

"When did your parents leave?"

"Yesterday."

"You were alone last night when you went to bed?"

"No, my neighbor came over and stayed until this morning."

"Ok. I'll be back in a while."

Carol jerked awake, squinting into the bright light that was shining through the thin curtains. Someone was banging on the door. She sat up, suddenly aware of the fact that she had fallen asleep last night feeding Tess, who was still in her lap, and wide awake. She stood up, holding Tess, who was waving her arms around, strangely content. She went to the door and looked through the peephole, seeing an all too familiar balding head. She opened the door, and was about to greet Mark, but yawned instead.

And good morning to you too!

Come on in, Mark.

I didn't wake you up did I?

Well, erm

Oh Carol, I'm so sorry! I know what it can be like, did someone, he looked pointedly at Tess, keep you up last night?

No, not really, I was just tired anyway. I actually fell asleep on the couch feeding her early this morninganyway, don't worry about it. Do you want a coffee of something?

Er, no, thanks. I was just checking by that you're okay, you know

I'm fine Mark. Really. Could you just hold Tess for a moment?

Carol handed Mark the infant and went into the kitchen, where she got a glass of milk. She came back in and sat down, smirking at Mark trying to wrestle his glasses from an over-inquisitive Tess.

She has a quite a grip

Yeah, I noticedKate still asleep?

Yeah, thankfully. She'll start screaming soon though.

All was uncomfortably silent for a moment.

So, uh, have you spoken to Doug?

Me neither.

Carol looked down into her glass and swirled the milk around a bit.

I can't believe he did that, Mark. How could he justI mean, after everythingI thought he would have been above that. I thought, I guess I just hoped that he had changed.

We all did, Carol. But I think it's between you and him now. Do you want him to stay?

I don't know. She looked up at him. He looked back, but broke the gaze to look at Tess. He stood up and passed her back to Carol, who also stood up.

I think I'd better get going. I'm meeting Elizabeth for dinner, and I have some work to do

Carol nodded and followed him to the front door, holding it open as he stepped out.

He turned around. Thanks for dropping by.

He smiled, just as a wailing began from upstairs. Carol raised her eyes to the heavens and grinned at him, shutting the door behind her.

Back at County, Carter walked up to Kerry.

"Hi Kerry, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"I need you to call every ER in the area, and ask if they've had any patients under the name of Barnes in the last couple of days."

"Sure, but why, his parents abandoned him, right?"

"I don't think so, he just told me that they went shopping and told him they'd be back in a while."

"When did they tell him that?"

"Yesterday."

"Has it been 24 hours?"

"I think so, I mean he said they left yesterday."

"Ok, I'll call."

"Let me know what you find out, I'm gonna go check on Matt."

"OK, but Carter if he's ready to be released, call DCFS."

Carter walks off to the exam room.

"Hey Matt, how's it going?"

"Ok I guess."

"That's good, I'm gonna check you over one more time then we're gonna get you a better room."

After checking Matt over he concluded that he didn't have a concussion, but he wanted a CT just in case.

"Ok, Matt I'm gonna send you up for a CT, that's where they take a picture of your brain."

"Will you be with me?"

"I'll be right in the next room."

Doug sat and swirled the coffee round in the mug, looking at the piece of paper with an address and time written on it. Finally, he finished the coffee and was just reaching for the telephone again when it rang. He jumped, but picked it up.

Call for you Dr. Ross

The phone clicked as the clerk switched lines.

Hello? Doug?

Yeah, hi. I've been thinking

So have I, there's something I need to tell you, I was just going to call y

Wait, Doug. I hate to use a cliché, but we have to talk. If you want to come around now."

Um, okay. If you're sure.

Well, I'll see you in a few minutes then.

Bye."

In the CT room, Carter's voice echoed a bit, bouncing off the walls.

"OK, Matt in a minute we're gonna start the CT. I won't be in here with you but I'll be right in the next room.

"Ok. How long will it take?"

"I don't know, umm around 25 or 30 minutes. You ready?"

"Yeah."

The lab technician starts the machine as soon as Carter leaves the room.

At the admit desk in the ER, the staff sit around, chatting, enjoying a short spell of peace and quiet. Until the phone rings. Randi picked up, stretching to get it.

"ER. Dr. Weaver, phone for you. It's Mercy, I think it's about the Barnes kid."

"Thanks Randi." 

Kerry took the phone.

"This is Kerry Weaver. Ok, you say they were brought in when? How serious? Oh god. Ok thanks."

Doug slowly climbed the steps to Carol's porch, noticing that the second step still creaked – he'd planned to fix that, before everything happened. Right now he was feeling like he was on the Walk Of Doom, just waiting for Carol to tell him to go back to Portland, Seattle, anywhere as long as it was miles from her and the girls. But he was determined not to go without a fight. Hell, he was the twins' father. He had the right to see them. It would certainly be unusual if Carol did stop him from seeing them – she was so open and happy about it before. But if it ever got to that point, he wasn't about to let the girls grow up without their father. He'd screwed someone else's life up like that already, and it wasn't something he was going to let happen again.

With these thoughts in mind, he rang the doorbell, instantly cursing as he did when cries came from an upstairs window – hadn't he done the same thing just a day or do ago? It was some time before Carol answered the door, screaming child in one arm, and a less than pleased expression on her face. If Doug wasn't in trouble before, he certainly was now. He stepped in and closed the door quietly behind him, although there seemed little point in being quiet now. Carol was sitting on the couch, humming something to Tess, or was it Kate? Even though they were identical, Doug still felt guilty for some reason – their own father couldn't tell them apart. He gestured towards a seat, and Carol nodded, so he sat down. As the cries subsided, Doug leant forward on his knees, wanting to bite the bullet.

Carol? I wanted to let you kno

No, wait Doug. Let me say what I have to say first. She took a deep breath. I have spent a year alone now, aside from the twins, trying to get over what happened. It has been far from an easy year. I certainly did not plan for you to get yourself sacked and just go to the other side of the country with no consideration, not for me, your friends, your family.

NO, Doug, LISTEN. This is what you didn't do before, you didn't listen. You never did. All you cared about was your own interests. You wouldn't listen to me, to Mark, to Kerry, to the hospital, Doug Ross was a law unto himself, and that was all that mattered. And now, here you are again, and I thought maybe you changed, but no, I was wrong. Wrong, just like I was for trusting you before. Trusting that you wouldn't leave me, that when ever I woke up in the morning you would be there and not like old times when I'd wake up and you'd be gone, off out with someone else no doubt. I can't believe I conned myself into believing that you cared!

She gulped, wiping one cheek as she recovered her breath.

Please, Carol

For God's sake Doug! Do you think I care anymore? You should have stayed in Seattle! Why did you have to come back and complicate everything??

What? What is it?"

I got an interview. Here, in Chicago. At Naperville Pediatric Associates, it's a private practice.

Carter found Kerry at the admit desk, after he returned Matt to his exam room.

Dr. Weaver good news. Matt Barnes' CT came back negative, he can go home as soon as we find his parents.

Kerry looked at Carter with a shocked and sad look on her face.

Dr. Weaver what's wrong?

It's Matt's parents....

You found them? That's great! When are they coming?

They're not.

Oh man.... Carter's look turned to shock as soon as he realized what she was saying.

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   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/er_trig/triggersfics1.html



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